Change Is Possible

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by Ben Newman

Is change really possible? Absolutely! We testify from our own personal experience that we have experienced profound change in our sexual identity, behavior, interests and desires -- change that has brought us great peace and satisfaction. (See: About Us: Our Stories)

In sharing our experience, we are not necessarily suggesting that everyone can change. Nor are we saying that everyone should try to change. We are only sharing our own experience, about what was right for us and what worked for us. We have no desire to try to convince people who are happy living a gay life that they should be dissatisfied. If "gay" works for them, great. We are not suggesting that those who embrace and accept a gay identity and choose to live as homosexuals are sick, or wrong, or somehow "less than" others. They are as deserving of respect as we are.

Homosexuality just wasn't right for us. It conflicted with our deeply held beliefs, our life goals, and our intrinsic sense of our true, authentic selves.

And so we pursued change -- and ultimately found that by facing and addressing deep emotional wounds, fears and other root problems, our homosexual desires started to diminish and then to disappear, while heterosexual feelings began to emerge and increase. True, we found the journey was often difficult and frightening, but the destination has brought us immeasurable peace and joy. In fact, if there is one consistency in the scores of published testimonials by those who have succeeded at change, it is their universal claim that their lives are better now.

What Do We Mean By Change?
Some skeptics erroneously assume that by change we always mean (or should mean) a 180 degree shift from 100% homosexual to 100% heterosexual in all behaviors, interests, attractions and thoughts, forever after. Anything less than that, some skeptics like to argue, isn't real change. Some look for evidence of "only" a 170 degree shift or "only" a 100 degree shift, and cry "failure!"

The truth is that any degree of change toward greater peace, satisfaction and fulfillment, and less shame, depression and darkness, is change well worth pursuing. For most people who seek change, heterosexuality is not actually the ultimate goal; happiness is. For them, happiness is not contingent on sexuality alone, but on living a life congruent with their values, beliefs and life goals.

So, unlike those who argue that nothing less than a 180 degree turn "counts" as change, the men and women who actually seek change are often quite content with a much subtler shift. To be free from the constant pull of homosexual desires, to have a happy marriage, to have children, and to live a life they believe to be in line with God's will for them -- many ask for nothing more

Evidence of Change
Anecdotal evidence that change is possible is abundant. First-person testimonials abound on the Internet, at recovery conferences and in reparative literature (click here for lists).

But the evidence is much more than anecdotal. In more than 50 years of research, including 48 studies we will reference here, there are data and published accounts documenting easily more than 3,000 cases of change from homosexual to heterosexual attraction, identity and functioning.

• "Homosexuality and the Possibility of Change" Project
  New Direction Ministries in Toronto, Canada, has collected and critiqued 31 clinical research studies, individual case studies and surveys on homosexuality and the possibility of change published in books or academic journals between 1952 and 2003. The reviewers looked for reported changes, and supporting evidence for changes, in behavior, attractions, fantasy and self-identification by the subjects of the various studies and surveys. On their Web page, they summarize the collective results of 28 of the studies, and discuss the other three separately.

Collectively, the 28 studies present information on 2,252 subjects. The reviewers with the "Homosexuality and the Possibility of Change" project selected for analysis only those subjects for whom enough data was available in the published reports to assign the subjects approximate before-and-after Kinsey sexual orientation scores of from 0 (exclusively heterosexual) to 6 (exclusively homosexual). They eliminated from consideration those subjects whose "before" scores were lower than 5 (where 5 is "predominantly homosexual") or for whom insufficient information was available to assign any scores at all.

The reviewers found that using even this conservative before-and-after analysis, the published research clearly supports at least:

• 45 cases of people who were exclusively or predominantly homosexual (a 6 or 5 on the Kinsey scale) making a full shift in sexual orientation (to a 0 on the Kinsey scale).
   
• 287 cases of people who were exclusively or predominantly homosexual (a 6 or 5 on the Kinsey scale) making a partial shift in sexual orientation (to a 1 or 2 on the Kinsey scale).
   
• 86 cases of people who were exclusively or predominantly homosexual who transitioned to satisfying heterosexual relationships. (This third group of studies measured change by external behavior and reports of satisfaction, rather than reports of levels of attraction.)

Thus you have at least 418 cases in the published psychological literature of heterosexual orientation shift, according to the criteria used by the "Possibility of Change" project. However, the studies themselves actually report at least 563 subjects who experienced varying degrees of change toward increased heterosexuality. (The lower number is due to the project reviewers applying uniform criteria, years after the fact, to summarize more than 50 years of published studies, and thus excluding reports that didn't fit their criteria for analysis.)

Some may argue that many of these studies are old, and thus outdated. But old and outdated are not synonymous. Research doesn't "go bad" with time alone, like old bread. Older research can be confirmed, expanded, reinterpreted or contradicted by new, better designed or more thorough research. But age alone never invalidates a research study. And it is striking that these 31 studies, conducted over 50-some years, consistently show at least some evidence for sexual orientation shift, every time.

Source: New Direction Ministries, "Homosexuality and the Possibility of Change" project, Toronto, Canada. [16]

• NARTH Survey of Reparative Therapy Clients
  In addition to the 28 studies summarized above, the "Homosexuality and the Possibility of Change" project reports on three others. The first, conducted by the National Association for Research and Therapy of Homosexuality in 1997, is a survey of 882 individuals who had been in reparative therapy or other intervention programs in an effort to effect a sexual-orientation change.

The anonymous survey found that, before counseling or therapy, 581 men and women out of the 882, or 66%, considered themselves exclusively or almost entirely homosexual (Kinsey 6 or 5). Another 188 (21%) considered themselves more homosexual than heterosexual (Kinsey 4) before treatment.

After treatment, only 111 (13%) considered themselves exclusively or almost entirely homosexual (Kinsey 6 or 5). That's 470 fewer individuals who placed themselves in this category, post-treatment. And in fact, 282 individuals (32%) described themselves as either exclusively or almost entirely heterosexual after treatment (Kinsey 0 or 1).

Those surveyed also reported significant decreases in the frequency and intensity of their homosexual thoughts -- from 63% indicating "very often" before treatment to 3% after treatment. The same was true of sexual behaviors with a partner: 30% had homosexual sex "very often" before treatment, while only 1% did so afterward.

• NARTH Survey of Therapists
  The second survey was also conducted by the National Association for Research and Therapy of Homosexuality in 1997, but this one surveyed 206 therapists and counselors who have counseled individuals who sought to change from a homosexual orientation. Collectively, these 206 professionals had worked with a total of at least 9,702 homosexual clients seeking sexual reorientation.

More than 40% of therapists said that the majority (61% or more) of their clients had either "adopted a primarily heterosexual orientation (not just behavior)" or "experienced a significant decrease in unwanted homosexual thoughts, feelings and behaviors" or both. At an average of 47 clients per therapist, that would represent more than 2,350 clients who experienced a significant homosexual-to-heterosexual shift, according to the therapists who counseled them.

• Spitzer Study
  The last of the 31 studies summarized by the "Homosexuality and the Possibility of Change" project was conducted by Columbia University psychiatrist Dr. Robert L. Spitzer, who studied "the self-reported experiences of individuals who claim to have achieved a change from homosexual to heterosexual attraction that has lasted at least five years." (This study was published in the Archives of Sexual Behavior in October 2003.) He located and interviewed 143 men and 57 women who had had a predominantly homosexual attraction for many years (defined as at least 60 on a 100-point scale of sexual attraction, where 0 is exclusively heterosexual and 100 is exclusively homosexual), and who, after therapy, had experienced a heterosexual shift of no less than 10 points, lasting at least 5 years.

Spitzer found that the average level of reported homosexual attraction among the 200 interviewees dropped from 90 (on a 100 point scale) in the 12 months before the change effort began to 19 in the 12 months just prior to the interview. Also:

• 37 (19%) of the respondents reported "complete" change, with no lingering homosexual thoughts, fantasies or desires.
  
   
• 119 (60%) met Spitzer's criteria for "good heterosexual functioning" (which included never or rarely having same-sex thoughts during heterosexual sex).

Other Studies
In their book, "Homosexuality: The Use of Scientific Research in the Church's Moral Debate," psychologists Dr. Stanton L. Jones and Dr. Mark A. Yarhouse present summary data on 30 research studies conducted between 1954 and 1994. Of these, 13 are also included in New Direction's "Homosexuality and the Possibility of Change" summary, but 17 are not. These 17 additional studies, conducted mostly in the 1960s and 1970s, present data on 327 subjects. Of these, 108 men and women made a successful shift from primarily homosexual to primarily heterosexual attractions and/or behaviors.
 

Source: Jones, Stanton L., and Yarhouse, Mark A., Homosexuality: The Use of Scientific Research in the Church's Moral Debate, InterVarsity Press, 2000, p. 123, 131

One of the more recent publications on the topic is in the American Psychological Association's June 2002 issue of Professional Psychology: Research and Practice. An article by Dr. Warren Throckmorton, "Initial Empirical and Clinical Findings Concerning the Change Process for Ex-Gays," summarizes 11 studies and concludes: "My literature review contradicts the policies of major mental health organizations because it suggests that sexual orientation, once thought to be an unchanging sexual trait, is actually quite flexible for many people, changing as a result of therapy for some, ministry for others and spontaneously for still others."

Clearly, to claim that there is "no evidence of successful sexual orientation change" is to be either grossly uninformed or in a state of denial. Reparative therapy has not been discredited. It has simply fallen out of favor since the 1973 vote by the board of the American Psychiatric Association to remove homosexuality from its official encyclopedia of mental disorders. The research hasn't been disproved; it has simply been disenfranchised by the political correctness of the times.

The Benefits of Pursuing Change
Critics like to claim that attempting to change one's sexual orientation puts one at risk for depression and even suicide. There no doubt have been those who have pursued change for the wrong reasons, or in the wrong ways, and thereby have inadvertently increased the internal conflict and struggle rather than decreasing it. These are unfortunate cases, but what do they prove? Only that that particular therapy or ministry was not helpful or appropriate for those particular individuals at the time. It doesn't prove that they are not helpful to or appropriate for anyone ever -- any more than the grumblings of a few lapsed Catholics would "prove" that Catholicism is harmful to all. Especially when there is significant evidence of others who benefit.

• Dr. Robert Spitzer found no evidence of harm among the 200 individuals he surveyed on their experience in reparative therapy and ex-gay ministries. He has stated, "To the contrary, they reported that it was helpful in a variety of ways beyond changing sexual orientation itself."
  
   
• The NARTH survey of 882 men and women who had pursued change said the therapy was beneficial to their mental health and helped them cope with and reduce their homosexual attractions. They also overwhelmingly rated their experience as positive on a range of variables, including self-acceptance, trust of the opposite sex, self-esteem, emotional stability, relationship with God, and depression. Only 7% of survey respondents said they were doing worse than before the therapy on three or more of 17 measures of psychological well-being.

Our own experience more than bares out those findings.

Jason writes: "The journey has been the hardest thing I've ever done, but it was worth it. Today, I am a different man - stronger, healthier, happier, more loving, more confident, more mature. I am a better father, a better husband, a better friend, and a more devoted son of God. I would never trade the peace, growth and healing I have experienced for anything in the world."

Jerry writes: "I am at the point in my life now where homosexuality is no longer a struggle. I'd have to go through a lot of barricades -- psychologically, spiritually and emotionally - to get to the point of acting on any temptation. I am very fulfilled in my life. I no longer want homosexuality in my life. I no longer need it. Today, I identify with other heterosexual men as my peers, my brothers and my equals. I am in love with my wife. I love being a husband and a daddy."

Tom writes: "I now feel I have successfully transitioned from gay and bisexual to straight. The change is immensely satisfying and rewarding. I started dating women again because I wanted a healthy relationship that would last. I will settle down with one, eventually. I am a stronger man now, better prepared to be in a close relationship, with more to give as a whole man."

Those who want to believe, whose hearts are open to the whisperings of truth, will know that the experiences we share are true and were right for us.

NEWS

IS CHANGE POSSIBLE?

SIGNATORY ORGANIZATIONS

Courage
(Catholic)

Evergreen International
(Latter-day Saint)

German Institute for Youth and Society
(Scientific)

Homosexuals Anonymous (Christian Fellowship)

International Healing Foundation
(Non-religious)

JONAH: Jews Offering New Alternatives to Homosexuality
(Jewish)

NARTH: National Association for Research and Therapy of Homosexuality
(Scientific)

OneByOne
(Presbyterian)

PFOX: Parents and Friends of Ex-Gays and Gays
(Non-religious)

People Can Change
(Non-religious)

Powerful Change Ministry Group (African-American Christian)

Reality Resources
(Transgender Issues)

True freedom Trust
(Christian UK)